Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

Days like this really get to me. Days when it seems like everything and everyone are operating at a speed slightly less than that at which I want to be flying. We publish a magazine. I know I delivered the softcopies yesterday but one to the colour separation people therefore they must have done the films and whatnot by the very latest yesterday morning which means I expect the printing to have commenced about this time yesterday. Instead I’m finding out that they did not infact start the printing yesterday, they “think “they’ll start doing so today. Oh for the love of Mike, how I huffed and puffed and wanted to blow the house down! Knowing all the while that I must not trust anything that this guy on the phone says therefore I must go down to Nkrumah road and personally supervise the said process if we are to achieve anything. That, mein hombres, gets my goat!

My second gripe is that the receptionist is off at school doing an exam or something so I’m doing with one of her tasks; answering the phone, because I’m the only staff member present who knows how to answer the phone, seriously, I kid you not, the graphics guy, L, is doing something with one of the American intern kids you see all over Kla these days – from the looks of things they’re really getting on like a hut on fire – the Tanzanian dude and the other guy here are both temporary so they really don’t know the phone etiquette and I do, (Thank you for calling The X Group, Degstar speaking, how may I help you? – in one long corporate sounding breath) so I answer the phone, everyone else is out somewhere i.e. management meeting, presentation for CHOGM 2007, off at the dentist, etc. so anyway there’s this person who calls and waits for the exact moment when I almost pick up the phone to hang up. After I’ve walked all the way over from my desk! How inconsiderate!

Gripe no. 3. I just discovered that I do not infact have The Scientist album by Coldplay – the seminal rock album of all recent time for me. Thus my choices are restricted to X&Y, by Coldplay, some Stain’d, Nickelback, Simple Plan, The Calling, The Corrs, The Beatles and Linkin Park when what I really want to listen to is The Artful Dodger. Or anything garage-ish. It is lunchtime now and I want to listen to something dark and brooding and … I know! I’ll listen to Green Day!
Now L, the graphics guy and I are sitting here going through a magazine printed by one of Wakiso’s secondary schools and thinking how we could both do so much better than this here. Oba why don’t we put a proposal together and start benching these schools to do their magazines ands publications and stuff? UG look out, L and I are coming to a school near you; watch this space for dates and venues.

La and I are laughing at the stuff in this school magazine so much I’m actually forgetting what I wanted to gripe about, aaaah, such is the healing power of laughter, and I feel much better thanks for asking y’all. Oh, hang on I remember my other gripe; my tattoo artist hiked his prices! Mbu “brotha man the price of fuel went up”,
After I had retrieved my lower jaw from the environs of my toes…

so effing what? U gon use petrol based inks or something? I mean really!!!!

And just for the sake of hating on another man, do you guys remember how fine Joe Kabila’s wife is? Well, here’s a reminder just in case y’all forgot, I ain’t sore that his wife is so fine– hey that’s cool – my beef is that after all the time dude spent growing up in Makindye at our government expense and doing Waragi shots with Rasta Rob MC, you’d think the brother would have found himself a nice Ugandan girl to help him sort out the DRC. And then there would been no need for all that fracas over the mineral wealth we looted under the guise of weeding out the ADF rebels. We could have just talked things over with the Zimbabweans, Eritrea (now these guys, what did they want in the DRC?), Namibians, Angolans, Rwandese and Burundians and whoever else was in on the party. Afterall our sister would have had the ear of the president himself. Instead he … ignored all attempts at regional integration and peaceful co-existence and chose to marry whatshername. I mean, what sort of value addition is that?

9 Comments:

Blogger scotchbiscuits said...

I like when you rant! you do a kickass job.

Wed Jul 12, 05:34:00 pm  
Blogger Lovely Amphibian said...

man, that Kabila dude, the cheek! he's like forgotten us forever.

and you at the reception answering calls...noy flirting for once but receiving company calls...now this world is going nuts for real.

Wed Jul 12, 08:27:00 pm  
Blogger savage said...

I hear you when you say you are the the only one who can answer the phone. I mean you are the only Ugandan with an Irish accent. And that counts for a lot.

Thu Jul 13, 06:19:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

savage, what happenned to ur blog? ur link takes me to some advertising web page??!

Thu Jul 13, 07:27:00 am  
Blogger Degstar said...

yeah Savage, wssup with dat? subscription run out?

Thu Jul 13, 02:48:00 pm  
Blogger savage said...

I have free hosting with awardspace. With that said, I guess they can jack things up for me anytime they want.And I can't even complain.

Anyways, I guess in away they are sending me a message- Become a paying customer.

Anyhow. I will fix things soon as I can.

Thu Jul 13, 05:51:00 pm  
Blogger savage said...

You can now catch me at nathansavage.blogspot.com

Thu Jul 13, 05:59:00 pm  
Blogger ~sandinmyshoes~ said...

nice choice of 'dark and brooding music'. Blvd of Broken Dreams... could a song be more depressing?

Mon Jul 17, 11:38:00 am  
Blogger lissingmink said...

yep loove the rant
you make my day look so much better.

i have one word for the graphic designers...*SWAT!* it works, really (well if you imagine that they are louis the disease infested pest)

and about Kabila *dreamy eyes* he's gorgeous *innocent questioning eyes* who said that?...
ok if it makes you fel better you *tiny swat*

Tue Jul 18, 06:00:00 pm  

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