Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I have ha ha'ed!

Imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery.

I have ha ha’ed!

There I am interrupting my movie so I can catch the news on TV at 9pm like my grandpa taught to do, always watch the news he taught me, always, when I decide that today gundi of WBS is not looking as hot as usual so I flip to NTV to catch Cousin Maurice but no, theirs hasn’t started yet so ok, I’ll go the only analogue station in the country, yep, you guessed it, I turned to UBC-TV and guess what hits me immediately Bbaale Francis comes on screen;
1. he is not wearing a tie and jacket but rather a beige cashmere looking sweater like thing
2. He is reading the news whilst STANDING UP!
3. Bbaale Francis sold out, he gave up the desk to go read the news while standing up, like those teenies on NTV
4. furthermore he sis making jokes and quips while reading this story on Old Kampala and their introduction of garbage collection strategies, something about the “old learning from the new” or vice versa

My God! After all those years of setting the news reading agenda – from the days of the 7:30am news on Radio Uganda on my trusty Sound Solo radio set uptil last year, all 20 + odd years of my news listening life, Bbaale Francis has sold out and followed the lead of NTV! Peeps who opened shop like last week! Damn, times are a changing indeed!

U guy, I have ha ha’ed!

And for an encore, there’s a news item about the President urging local leaders in some upcountry hamlet not to accept monetary inducements to influence their political decision making. Hmph… this from the man who introduced the politics of the brown envelope handout (& the State H’se Scholarships, & the 5M handout to MPs, & the plum consolation job for vanquished political cronies and opponents, 2 mention but a few) … Bbaale Francis reading the news whilst standing up, M7 urging villagers not to take money to influence their decisions… what’s the world coming to? Next, we’ll hear mbu Nsaba Buturo is tipped to become the next IGG when Justice Faith Mwondha’s contract is up.

This quip made my week;
I went to see Olivia, y’all remember her dontcha? And when I expressed my displeasure at her loss of weight, specifically in the bum area, she concurred with these memorable words, and I quote, “yeah, y’know these days when I turn around to look at my bum, instead I can see the ground!”

Happy eating Ollie!

& this one also,
“I’ve never been a fan of horror movies and I think I’ve turned out ok; I talk dirty for chrissakes!”
Divulged by my ex-ex kissing buddy, after I tried to get her interested in a Lions Gate horror movie.

Laters,
Julius.

14 Comments:

Blogger joshi said...

Look who came out to play...Julius!!she can see the ground when turns to look at her backside...ROLTFLOL

Wed Jan 17, 08:34:00 am  
Blogger Cheri said...

Kale, Joshi. My Firsties!

Wed Jan 17, 09:48:00 am  
Blogger Cheri said...

Deg, u've always been in love with Ollie! No?

Kissing buddy.....Me likey.

Wed Jan 17, 09:52:00 am  
Blogger Minzo said...

Francis Bbale is STILL reading the news? Jesus, is that man immortal? And you would assume that at his age he would want to read the news sitting down.....

Wed Jan 17, 10:55:00 am  
Anonymous Iwaya said...

@Minzo: LOL!!!

that Olivia will make quite an interesting granny, the colorful tongued one all the grandkids will look forward to visiting!

me i'm just glad Degs is temporarily back. i know, i will celebrate when i see the second post in the week. i'm now off to celebrate mohammed ali's birthday.

Wed Jan 17, 11:44:00 am  
Blogger minty said...

me thinks Bbale is the only UBC newsreader that can pull it off. The rest would collapse in tongue-tied fits.
Would have paid to see him in a cashmere cardigan -preferably polo neck - though.

Wed Jan 17, 01:17:00 pm  
Blogger The 27th Comrade said...

It's not Bbale Francis who sucks. It's UTV. He'd have invented the standing move if he'd been at NTV.

It's the damn station. And the bugger rocks, frankly.

Wed Jan 17, 06:23:00 pm  
Blogger scotchbiscuits said...

i don't why but 'bum' is a funny word. can't say it with out atleast giggling.
butt is more... well...less ticklish. so lets use butt for purposes of maintaining straight faces on the job.

Thu Jan 18, 01:28:00 am  
Blogger baz said...

Scotchie, there is a Monty Python skit called The Man With Three Buttocks. The titular gentleman is being interviewed, but the interviewer cannot bring himself to say the word buttocks on TV so he fumbles with all sorts of words until finally out pops "Bum". Delicious.

Deg, the distressing thing about news on tv is the way they all put so much energy into dressing pretty and looking smart that they have none left for getting their sentences right.

Then there is that chick on WBS who does the news in present tense. I swear, KC, she does. "Seventeen civilians die in Iraq this morning when a car bomb explodes." "Ethics minister hands in his resignation letter two hours ago." "That I hear."

Did you know that CNN anchor Zain Verjee was once an FM deejay in Nairobi? She was called Insane Zain.

Konka. Oliva mundabire.

Thu Jan 18, 11:35:00 am  
Blogger Cheri said...

Zain, that ka Indian chick....

Is there a VeeJay school around here?

Thu Jan 18, 12:12:00 pm  
Blogger ish said...

Minzo; u is funny!! i'm shocked Bbale still has it in him too tho. seems he's been at it since I was in nursery school.

Thu Jan 18, 10:14:00 pm  
Blogger Kenyanchick said...

Olivia is brilliant. So is Julias.

I say we keep them.

Oh and Baz? Olimba. You're trying to say that she is reading the news in the present tense even as it is happening two hours ago?

Fri Jan 19, 01:09:00 pm  
Anonymous Jackfruity said...

Nominations for the 2006 Uganda Best of Blogs awards are now open -- make your nominations by February 15. Check out http://jackfruity.blogspot.com/2007/01/first-annual-uganda-best-of-blogs.html for the categories and how to nominate.

Questions? E-mail me at jackfruity@yahoo.com.

Mon Jan 22, 07:03:00 pm  
Anonymous ken55 said...

I have Bbaale Francis and Toya Kilama's photos in 1986, who wants to see?

Fri Feb 15, 11:45:00 am  

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