Thursday, February 01, 2007

Dear Pea...

Wednesday January 21, 2007
23:41 pm

My dearest Pea,

I’ve been thinking about you lately you know, on and off kinda like, mostly since I read Your Letter to Your Future husband. Woman, that was … awesome, so deep I downloaded it and took it home with me, every so often I read it to remind myself what sort of man it is that I’m working on becoming.

Anyways, I was planning on writing like a Letter from me to my future Wife …

I had written a lotta stuff here but we just had a power cut and I lost like a paragraph so, kwani I am pissed kabisa! So lemme just go on with what I was saying.

Yes, that letter I was planning on writing; it would be my way of honouring your invaluable contribution to the estate of holy matrimony among others, a way of putting in B&W my path towards the realisation of my ambition to turn into the sort of man that my girlfriend deserves to marry in a coupla years. Then a few days ago I read your interview with CB and the comments that followed, a good number of them being less than pleasant and I thought, “man, what’s with the negativity?” or as Shaka Ssali sez on the VOA, y’all ought to “get better not bitter!”

Then today I had a really bad day.
Suffice to say that I wouldn’t wish it on the one person I believe deserves all the nasty things that can happen to one person in one lifetime; not very charitable I know but then again not being charitable reaps dividends in the here and now, not in the Great Beyond that we’re going to in the afterlife.

So on my way home I stopped to buy a rolex to cheer me up, and for good measure, asked for two; see if 1 is good for you then 2 must be better for you. Then this chic walked past me and I just thought of you cause she just really really looked like you – compared to the picture on CB’s blog, except that that picture showed your front and most of what I saw of this chic as I awaited my rolex was her back. Side. Oh I saw her face alright; I just saw more of her other … side. Yeah she was fyn!!!!!!!

Then I get into a taxi to get home with my supper of 2 rolexes and 3 avocado pears and guess who gets in and sits right next to me? Yes you! Her who looked like you. You know what I mean, and then when she called out her stop she did so in this singsong throaty voice that just had me tingling all over. Yeah I know I shoulda said sumthin but what if I had and she’d replied in a manner that … was rather bereft of … intellectual aptitude? Dude, sometimes you’re better off not knowing. And at the time my intentions towards her were not of the tea and cookies variety.

I decided to take that encounter as divine confirmation for me to pen this so now so there. I happen to think your interview with CB was brilliant and if its true as your friend pointed out that you’re a very private person, then allow me to thank you for daring to share with us, a bit of your story and its mountains, plateaus and valleys.

I believe that people are only as good as what they know, that’s what sets us apart from the next person and makes people rack up paid internet hours so we all can explore, share and learn more about the different worlds we inhabit and the different paths we have all trodden thus far and the trails we intend to carve out of the jungle of life. Am I making sense here because if I’m not, I blame it entirely upon the fact that, for once, I am not under the influence whilst I write this. Did you know Ernest Hemingway wrote some of his best stuff after more than a fair share of a good Scotch? Yeah I know he then went and blew his head off whilst his newly wed 4th wife was in the bathroom next door but, how else was he to ensure his eternal legacy? Believe you me, if Paulo Coehlo had killed himself eons ago, we’d have all heard of him a whole lot sooner and not been asking, “who’s that white bearded old man in the orange scarf being interviewed on the sidelines of the just ended World Economic Forum?”

Now the part I did not get was all the stick you were getting for just sharing the facts of your life. I mean its cool and all that your parents, all of them, are who they are and you’ve done all these amazing things with your life yeah, but at the end of the day they’re just that, your daddy and mummies, and your life is just that; the things you’ve done with your last 20 odd years on planet earth. I certainly don’t begrudge you any of that, if anything I am rather proud of you because for me you represent the best of the different worlds that we inhabit today as offspring of intertribal/inter-national/inter-continental relationships/marriages who have one foot in the mostly rural upbringing of the majority of our parents and the other foot in the utterly cosmopolitan environment that we inhabit and will raise our own children in. y’know what I mean?

I love that you are just as comfortable in the depths of Kijabe as you are on 5th Ave, I love that you would probably enjoy yourself equally whether you were bargain hunting in Owino market or in Greenwich village (there are flea markets in the Village right?), and I’m sure if you had to, you could whip up Ugali and Nyam Chom with as equal panache as you would Tuna Risotto. Even if it came out of a can. For me you are the future of the East African Community, a God fearing individual who can spend time in the smoky manyattas of the Turkana and the Karamojong convincing them of the necessity of giving up their pastoral lifestyles and of educating their girls while at the same time jetting off to the World Trade Organisation to argue the case for less subsidies for Wazungu farmers so peanut farmers from Northern Uganda can have a fighting chance internationally. Then again maybe you should just talk to the US Dept. of Agriculture about that. We should all be so lucky. + you can sing, I love a woman who can carry a tune or two.

We have a long running joke in my church, Kampala Pentecostal, that the Christian army is the only one that shoots its wounded. I’m gonna be nasty here and say that your haters musta been female because in my bar, one of them – cant remember which one - we have a joke that kinda goes like this; if a woman rolled up infront of her buddies in an SLK Convertible, they’d most likely go like “bitch please, who do you think you are showing off like that? It’s probably even your man’s car! The one you’re sh*gging this week!”
If however a man pulled the same stunt, we’d all crowd around, slap him on the back and go like, “damn Negro, dats a fine ass ride! Nigga what you do to get a ride like that? ‘cause I’ma do it twice as hard so I can get me one of those, with a Bang & Olufsen stereo and 18 inch rims baby! U heard!?”

Perhaps you shall draw solace from the life of the woman whose story gave rise to this scripture; Est 4:14b

Kind Regards,


Blogger joshi said...


Fri Feb 02, 01:17:00 am  
Blogger Cheri said...

U, Pea has some things u need to think about now. Before u pray to be her future hubby, Run to her blog and then pray for her!

Fri Feb 02, 09:14:00 am  
Blogger Cheri said...

Is there a book in the Bible whose name starts with Est??? I know only Ecclesiastes(sp).

Degstar, SOS!

Fri Feb 02, 09:21:00 am  
Blogger Lovely Amphibian said...

Esther, Cheri. Esther.

Fri Feb 02, 11:27:00 am  
Blogger Cheri said...

Eh, thanks LA. I'm so embarrassed!

Fri Feb 02, 05:06:00 pm  
Blogger countryboy said...

am contributing a he-goat for your wedding + good luck prayers!

Fri Feb 02, 06:13:00 pm  
Blogger Pea said...

Degstar, thank you...

Thank you.

Sat Feb 03, 07:13:00 am  
Blogger Zack said...

I particularly loved very much the piece on peanut farmers from Northern Uganda having an opportunity for a fighting chance internationally... if you really meant that, I'd love for a chat with you!

Mon Feb 05, 02:13:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

degster i just loved reading this post u know wat i was actually praying for a miracle so that it dont end...

Yo right about chics they will surely bitch please on thier buddies

Wed Feb 07, 11:38:00 am  
Anonymous RL said...


I like to exchange blog link with you

If agreeable , pls add a link to my blog and let me know

I’ll reciprocate

My Lounge

Sat Feb 10, 05:17:00 am  
Blogger Dante said...

dude! this. this...

Thu Feb 15, 12:00:00 pm  
Anonymous Tujuane said...

Please allow me to introduce - Tujuane - Swahili word which means "Let us get to know each other"

Tujuane Kampala is a new online network for professionals who already have strong connections in Kampala or interested in establishing such connections.

Please check it out and leave us some comments.

Thu Mar 01, 04:07:00 pm  
Blogger Cheri said...

Mister, wadup?

Mon Mar 12, 02:30:00 pm  

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