Monday, March 19, 2007

Life Is...

Started on Thursday March 1, 2007
Finished the day I posted it

Life is;
1. Seating on the couch watching Straka on the Late Show whilst alternately chewing on a rolex, sipping on lemon quencher and typing this out. Its lent and I’m fasting Rock Nite because of all the evil influences it brings into my otherwise peaceful life, like the last time I went, after BHH 2.0, I ended up … hang on, one of my exes reads this blog for all I know the woman of my life has stumbled across it, discretion will be the wiser option here.

2. spending the last 4 hours listening to Aisha teach me about the benefits of islam, with a special emphasis (at my insistence) on the sexual habits, laws and freedoms of those who are believers. There is a difference see between believers, those who have proclaimed the one true God Allah and his prophet Muhammed PBUH, and the other run of the mill muslims who are not believers. Kinda like us christians and our confess with your lips and believe with your heart stuff about the difference btn savedees and the other lot.

3. Did you know that the Holy Qur’an has a couple verses dedicated to the proper way to make love? Basically anywhere as long as it’s not in number 2. Think I jest? Look it up in chapter 4 - the Sarqat al Baqara

4. Sitting in my brother’s office at the Conference Centre looking out over the parking lot, smelling the wet asphalt and the clean crisp air courtesy of the just ended drizzle, listening to How does it Feel? By Avril, sipping on busheera porridge and for a long fleeting moment – after a really long while – feeling that everything could be … just right.

5. loving your girlfriend even when she tells you that she’s having a really hard time thinking about … stuff … like are you the one for her, did she choose you with Godly direction or was it just her hormones speaking? Like when she asks you to pray that y’all get married and when, thrown for six, you reply with a host of positively uplifting scriptures and wise sayings e.g. Ecc. 9:10, she unleashes a century on you by asking you to remember all these “excellent sayings and scriptures” should the occasion arise … like say should the Lord divulge that you are not the Adonis of her life, the Jason of her sky, the Antonio of her Venice, the Darcy of her village, the Pip of her society or the Heathcliff of her Moor.

6. The Cricket World Cup being on. Time to dust up on the old skills, teach these bu young Turks a spin or two.

7. Benoni breaking down marriage for you and making it seem as easy as … a cold lager going down the hatch on Rock Nite with Puddle of Mudd doing Blurry in the background on EV bass bins … he always did have a knack for simplifying stuff down to the barest details and you always did have a knack for looking at Gulliver through the eyes of a Lilliputian.

8. Swearing for the umpteenth time how badly I need a new laptop, one that does not believe anything more than 256 MB of RAM is an ostentatious waste of space. A laptop that, weight wise, feels like a manila paper folder and not Frank Wood’s Pure Mathematics (aaah, Frank Wood, the terror of the ’99 PEM class). A laptop, can y’all hear me that I can carry down to Café Pap without being embarrassed at the time it takes to start up; flashing lights, whirring noises and all, can I get an Amen? Most importantly though, a laptop that does not begin shaking uncontrollably and spewing thick white smoke through its vents whenever I try to install Illustrator CS2, kwegamba, a laptop that – if I wanted – could take Windows Vista, just as soon as someone has finished debugging it. I’ll settle for a G4 iBook.

9.

8 Comments:

Blogger joshi said...

U seen the new toshiba tablet?

Tue Mar 20, 12:37:00 am  
Blogger Aoko said...

hahaha!this is funny, but i especially love the "9" at the end. welcome back, and God bless you (with a new laptop and a Golf GTi).

Tue Mar 20, 01:23:00 am  
Blogger Cheri said...

Lol about the laptop....

Good nuz about the Qur'an.....and the sex educ. ROTFLMAO about not goin down No. 2 style..... Props.

Tue Mar 20, 01:26:00 pm  
Blogger Savage-No, I didn't quit said...

celibacy still on?

Wed Mar 21, 07:40:00 am  
Blogger Iwaya said...

I don't get it...how can a laptop owner eat rolex? I don't get it, seriously!

Wed Mar 21, 04:51:00 pm  
Blogger Iwaya said...

wait! sokolinde...which Aisha...the KFM Aisha?....

Wed Mar 21, 04:53:00 pm  
Blogger countryboy said...

beautiful, beautiful! which means that i don't what 2 say. (me jumping around and singing) "welcome back, welcome!"

Wed Mar 21, 09:41:00 pm  
Blogger QueenB said...

nyc post.............

Fri Mar 23, 06:13:00 pm  

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