Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Together Tunawakilisha

The East African Federation will be achieved from the bottom up not from the Presidents down, witness the proliferation, not of Kenyan students with their own university, but of Campus 1st years saying they need pocket money ati they’re bursting to the beach? Which one? Ish, ate which one? Diani of course.

A few days ago, there was a chick in my dusty Kisaasi taxi arguing with the conductor in like a South C accent, it got me thinking, where wont you find a Kenyan these days? Then I remembered that we started it, in the 1800s, now they’re just coming back home. Ati what, u don’t click, ok, tell me this, was Mzee Jomo Kenyatta the son of Omukama Kabalega or was he not?

According to an article in The New Vision of March 26, 2007 written by one George Kasede Mukasa who lifted this information from the national archives of the Seychelles sometime in the early 90’s, it states in a document marked “Exile No. 3-1901”;

“In 1897 mutiny broke out in the recruited Sudanese troops. It soon spread all over the country. Finally the two kings Mwanga and Kabalega who had opposed British colonial policies in their country joined the mutiny. They were captured by the British and deported to the Seychelles via Nairobi. They arrived on board the SS Boodana on October 7, 1901. Eleven of them and the three principal leaders were: King Mwanga of Buganda, King Kabalega of Bunyoro and Prince Kabalega the son of king Kabalega. During their transit in Nairobi, King Kabalega is believed to have had an affair with a Kenyan Kikuyu girl. She later had a boy who was to be one of the founding fathers of Kenya. On their arrival they were sent to Mont Plaisir (Majoie) and kept under Police surveillance.”

Could it be? Is the grand doyen of Kenyan nationalism a son of the soil? A millet bread and cowpeas in groundnut stew eater? You know us in Uganda we have a long tradition of breeding future presidents of other countries, lets see there is;

1. H. E. Paul Baguma Kagame of Rwanda, grew up near my village. His crib on the road to the Naalya estate is the only crib in the entire area that has elec 24/7/356, whether there’s loadshedding of elec or fuel going on or not. And he don’t even live there.

2. H. E. John Gonzaga Garang de Mabior (RIP), from Rubaga near the Cathedral. Old soldiers never die, they just … fade way. Aluta Continua Afande.

3. H. E. Salva Kirya Kiir, also from Rubaga but the lower side near Pastor Kayanja’s Cathedral. What’s with the fedora, dude? Get yourself an African leopard skin hat or sumthin, like Mobutu’s. That’s the ish right there.

4. H. E. Benjamin Musoke Mkapa who studied in my alma mater, Makerere. He was a Goat.

5. H. E. Joseph Desire Semakula Kabila, from the slummy surburb of Makindye. He’s a great fan of Ugandan ragga ala Ragga Dee, Rasta Rob MC aka Master Robbo and Shanks Vivie D. He also dresses like a Luwum Street businessman, check out the suit on page 2 of the New Vision March 27, 2007.

6. H. E. Mwai Kasozi Kibaki who also went to Makerere, at least he was a Gentleman, and is fondly remembered in the shebeens of Katanga, was probably steadying himself up for Lucy. Good man really, what else can you say about him? Think he’s the only politician with a colourful private life? You must not be reading the papers lately… even M7 …

7. the next president of RSA, Tokyo Okema Sexwale or Cyril Adyeeri Ramaphosa, who spent the apartheid years chilling in the ANC camp in Nakasongola district. The skills they honed in bargaining for cassava and fresh beans with the locals have stood them in good stead in their climb to prosperity, the BEE policy has also helped a bit.

Over to the folks at the Historical Society of Kenya, we be waiting?

P.S. seriously Campus 1st years don’t be going to Diani beach, they can’t handle. U cant even claim to be going to outside countries when you go shopping/holidaying/lounging in Nai, its like going to Rwanda, man you just be going to like another district.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this article, man! Wakenya waseme!

Thu Mar 29, 12:47:00 pm  
Blogger Jasmine said...

sunday lunch at home. we should just be honorary members in the EA parliament. rwanda,kenya,congo,Ug. we are looking for a tanzanian and Rundi link.

Thu May 10, 07:15:00 pm  

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